How to Get Over Someone You Never Dated: 8 Easy Tips

A woman wondering how to get over someone you never dated.

Getting over someone is never easy. Getting over someone you never dated, however, can be a strange and perplexing experience.

 

As much as you’d like to just snap out of it, there isn’t an on-and-off switch for unrequited love, just as there isn’t one for a broken heart.

 

For as long as you’ve cared for this person, your brain has been producing chemicals like oxytocin and dopamine to deepen your connection and stimulate that happy, giddy feeling you get whenever they text. 

 

Combine a fear of rejection, the complexity of an almost relationship (aka a “situationship”), and a great deal of wishful thinking—it’s not surprising if you have trouble letting go.

 

Fortunately, it’s possible to move on from any kind of infatuation. 

 

Given time, patience, and the right kind of support, you can healthily process your heartbreak and start dating someone who is right for you. 

 

To help you take that first step forward, here’s a list of tips to keep in mind as you navigate this difficult—but ultimately beneficial—journey. 

 

 

1. Mute or block them on social media

If you spend a lot of time stalking your crush’s posts and wondering if they’re going to text back, then it’s time to step away from your phone.

 

Unfollow them on all social media. For peace of mind, mute or block them and set boundaries with yourself. Start “ghosting” them if needed.

 

Though this may sound extreme, perhaps even cruel, remember that it’s you who needs to come first. Moving on will be a lengthier process if you continue to communicate and try to stay involved, even indirectly. 

 

2. Keep yourself busy 

Dopamine, the “pleasure chemical,” is produced when we’re in love, but researchers have also found that dopamine plays a major role in productivity and motivation

 

In short, the more you (healthily) distract yourself, the better your brain and body might feel.

 

Though this may not be how you imagined your love story ending, think of this as the perfect excuse to shift your energy, get back into creative projects, and spend time doing things that make you feel good.

 

3. Resist the urge to flirt 

A person as attractive, funny, and interesting as your crush will come again. In fact, you’ll likely find someone who’s all these things and more.

 

To make certain you don’t miss that opportunity when it arrives, give flirting a rest.

 

Whether your crush encourages your advances or not, flirting will only perpetuate the cycle of “will they or won’t they?”.

 

This is especially true if you happen to be in an almost relationship. If it hasn’t happened by now, then it’s time to accept it’s probably never going to.

 

4. Erase old photos and texts

Strong feelings will fade with time, and you’ll eventually move on.

 

To help you along the way, delete every photo and text you’ve hung onto until now.

 

Though forgetting may be the last thing you want, knowing these memories are in your phone can compel you to keep looking back rather than forward. It may be painful at first, but eliminating temptation is ultimately for the best. 

 

5. Make a list of the qualities you didn’t like about the person 

Think back to what attracted you in the first place. It may have been their smile, their kindness, or their sense of humor. Whatever special quality you saw, remember that you witnessed only a small portion of their personality.

 

Take a little time to list any qualities you don’t like about that person. This doesn’t have to be a long list of hateful or mean nitpicking. Perhaps there were red flags you never noticed before or inherent differences that would’ve made a relationship impossible. 

 

Keep this list close at hand. It’ll serve as a reminder as to why things didn’t work out—and why that’s a good thing. 

 

 

6. Focus on your career, family, and friends

This is also a good time to lean on family and friends. While your loved ones may not be relationship experts, they can offer you comfort and distractions as you navigate heartbreak and come to terms with your feelings.

 

Work can also offer a reprieve. As you refocus your energy on your career, remember not to overwork yourself or neglect your other needs. Instead, try to find a healthy balance between mindful productivity and a reignited ambition.

 

7. Allow yourself to grieve and feel all the emotions

While you may not have had a real relationship, you felt a connection, one worth mourning. This is especially true if the object of your affection is someone you can’t easily part ways with, such as your best friend or a co-worker you have to see every day.

 

Give yourself time to grieve and prioritize your mental health

 

Though it’s important to open yourself back up to the idea of love, there is nothing wrong with taking a hiatus from romance. Avoid anything that might trigger the pain and confusion your crush once elicited. Cry as much as you need, binge-watch Netflix, and give yourself a long, good hug.

 

8. Pamper yourself and give it time

After spending so much time and energy on a relationship that never happened, you may be left feeling burnt out or hopeless.

 

Take this as your cue to step away from real life and practice some self-care

 

Whatever the activity is, make a conscious effort to address not only your needs but your wants as well. 

 

This might mean a hot bath, going away for the weekend, or treating yourself to something nice, like your favorite flavor of ice cream or a childhood movie. Indulge yourself and rediscover the joy of life without your crush at the epicenter.  

 

Bonus Step: Seek Professional Online Therapy with Emote

While you may have never dated, it doesn’t change that you are hurting and require love and support to see you through this heartache.

 

With the guidance of a qualified therapist, lingering what-ifs and unresolved feelings can finally be put to rest.

 

At Emote, we offer broken hearts a chance to heal.

 

Be it through weekly video chat sessions or private text messaging, our remote therapists are here to help.

 

Through online therapy, you can discover how to build healthier habits, address underlying issues, and learn what you need to secure a fulfilling, long-term relationship.

 

All this and more can be done from the comfort of your own living room.

 

Rediscover self-love with Emote. Visit our FAQ to learn more about the benefits of therapy and start your mental health journey today for only $35.

 

I Hate My Body: What to Do and How to Improve Your Body Image

A girl looking in the mirror thinking i hate my body.

I Hate My Body

We all think negatively about our bodies sometimes. Whether it’s recent weight gain or an imperfect complexion, so many of us dislike something about our physical appearance that we might like to change, given the chance. 

 

What matters is how these thoughts and feelings impact our body image.

 

Body image is tied to our self-perception. Someone with a negative body image may believe they are unattractive or undesirable, resulting in low self-esteem and internalized body shame.

 

Meanwhile, someone with a positive body image may accept their appearance, loving and enjoying their body for what it is.

 

Much in the way our bodies change and grow, so does our body image. You may feel more negatively or positively about your appearance on some days than on others. 

 

However, if you obsessively fixate and have constant negative thoughts about your body—to the point that it affects your mental health and everyday life—then you may have body dysmorphic disorder (BDD).

 

Body dysmorphic disorder is the obsessive idea that your body, or parts of your body, is severely flawed and must be “fixed.” According to the International OCD Foundation, about 5 to 10 million Americans are affected by BDD

 

Common signs of body dysmorphic disorder include: 


  • Only seeing the “flaws” in your body
 
  • Frequently checking your body in mirrors and becoming upset
 
  • Touching the parts of your body you dislike
 
  • Trying to hide or disguise parts of yourself
 
  • Trying to “fix” the body part through unhealthy methods
 
 

To help you better understand body image, we’ll be going over a few reasons why you may hate your body, steps you can take to nurture body acceptance, and how online therapy can help you tackle your inner critic.

 

 

Why Do I Hate My Body?

According to Ipsos, 74 and 83 percent of American men and women, respectively, are in some way dissatisfied with their bodies.

 

Just as all bodies are unique, the causes and emotions behind poor body image are different for everyone. However, there are some commonalities.  

 

Below, we’ve listed a few possible reasons why you may hate your body:

 

Body dysmorphia

Body dysmorphia lies on the obsessive-compulsive spectrum. It shares symptoms with but is not the same as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

 

As with OCD, people with body dysmorphic disorder struggle with uncomfortable, compulsive thought patterns. These thoughts may lead to compulsive actions, such as sucking in your stomach, picking at your skin, or in the case of an eating disorder, over-exercising, binge eating, and purging. 

 

BDD is linked to other mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety, and may also affect your physical health.

 

Societal pressure 

Society has influenced beauty standards for centuries. However, in the age of Instagram, detox teas, and fad diets, we’re more accustomed to judging and making inappropriate comments about other people’s bodies than ever before. 

 

These comments can be especially damaging if they come from loved ones or a spouse. Though they may mean well, undesired comments can heighten body insecurity and warp self-perception.

 

Your body is injured or prone to injury

One of the most difficult things about being human is that your body is fallible. 

 

As we age, we recover more slowly from illnesses and injuries. For those with disabilities, it may be hard to sit, walk, or stand, limiting your range of motion and/or making you prone to injury. 

 

Regardless of the circumstances, pain can leave you frustrated, leading to negative thoughts about your body.

 

A body part doesn’t function as it used to

No one likes losing control. Whether it’s due to age, injury, or a disability, when a body part no longer functions the way it used to, intense negative emotions can fester. For some, these emotions can manifest as self-hatred and body shame.

 

Constantly changing beauty standards

Self-acceptance can feel like a moot point when we’re pushed to worship and pursue a certain kind of body type.

 

However, as beauty standards evolve and the goal post keeps moving, it’s hard to feel like who we are is good enough. The idea of the “perfect body” is ultimately unattainable, encouraging only self-loathing and impossible standards of beauty for many.

 

 

How to Improve Your Body Image

As with any form of recovery, it takes time and possibly professional help to dismantle body negativity and reimagine one’s self-image.

 

Fortunately, you can lay the groundwork today for a healthier, happier body with a few simple tips. Here’s how: 

 

Make a list of all the things your body can do

When we get caught up in what we don’t like about our bodies, we often forget about all the really amazing things our bodies do for us. 

 

When you’re bogged down by negative thoughts, take a moment to write down all the things your body can do. From keeping you healthy to taking you from place to place, acknowledging your body’s capabilities can help cultivate a newfound pride and admiration.

 

Pamper your body

Your body is the only “person” who supports and cares for you unconditionally, so it’s important to thank it every now and then. You can do this by taking a hot bubble bath, getting a massage, or simply resting for the day and having a nice, home-cooked meal. 

 

Whatever you do, the most important thing is that you’re giving your body the care and attention it deserves.

 

Avoid triggers like social media and weight scales

If you’re triggered by social media, listen to your needs and click that unfollow button. Feel free to block any content from your feed that makes you feel insecure or worthless.

 

Likewise, step away from anything you might obsess over, such as the weight scale. The sum of your parts doesn’t come down to a number. Furthermore, you don’t have to hit a certain weight or start a new diet to enjoy life; you deserve to be happy, regardless of your appearance. 

 

Surround yourself with body-positive friends and family

How we see ourselves is often very different from how others see us.

 

Practice self-care by building boundaries with people who make you feel ashamed or insecure, and instead, start surrounding yourself with loved ones who inspire self-confidence.

 

By being around body-positive people, you can catch negative thought patterns and learn how to view yourself in a kinder light.

 

Practice self-love and compassion

Self-love doesn’t have to be loud or revolutionary. It can be as simple as daily affirmations and wearing the clothes you like (not just the ones you believe you should fit into). Do what makes you feel good, safe, and comfortable.

 

Body neutrality can also be beneficial. If self-love isn’t within your grasp right now, self-acceptance through body neutrality can help you overcome negative thoughts and teach you the value of your body without loving or hating it.

 

Love Your Body with the Help of Emote’s Online Therapy

While it’s normal to feel self-conscious from time to time, hating your appearance can deeply impact your mental and physical well-being.

 

Thankfully, with a little time, patience, and the right kind of help, you can learn how to dismantle and overcome body negativity. 

 

With Emote, a licensed therapist is ready and able to help you confront your inner critic

 

Thanks to our remote services, you don’t have to worry about the potential discomfort and anxiety that comes with traditional therapy sessions. You can schedule virtual appointments over video chat or text your therapist throughout your day—your comfort is yours to control. 

 

With Emote Online Therapy, you’re free to explore solutions, develop treatment plans, and discuss other issues related to body insecurity, such as intimacy and relationship troubles.

 

Learn how to love your body and sign up today for only $35 during your first week. Visit our FAQ or contact us to learn more about your future Emote experience.

 

Is it Normal to Still Love My Ex? + Tips on How to Move Forward

A girl wondering is it normal to still love my ex

Is it Normal to Still Love My Ex?

Oftentimes, new relationships feel like a fresh start. Wonderful ideas like soulmates and true love become a reality, and we’ve never been happier.

 

So when heartbreak comes along, our bodies go through a kind of romantic withdrawal. We become cynical yet find ourselves still in love long after the breakup.

 

When we’re happily in love, our brains produce dopamine and other chemicals that make us feel good, and a biological connection is formed. The longer this relationship goes on, and the more dopamine is produced, the more “addicted” our brains become.

 

In short, it’s perfectly natural to miss (or even love) your first love or old flame for a while.

 

However, if strong feelings persist and you’re having a hard time moving on from an ex-partner, you may still be grieving

 

Breakups are a type of loss and may follow the five stages of grief. You may experience each stage or only some, in no particular order.

 

As with any form of loss, you can lean on professional help to learn how to healthily process a breakup and reconcile your feelings.

 

To help you better understand your grief in the lens of a breakup, we’ve listed the five stages below:

 

 

1. Shock or denial

Even after the relationship ends, you and your ex-partner may slip into old habits, exchanging texts and making plans.

 

This isn’t unusual; breakups can be traumatic, and denial is a powerful coping mechanism. It helps soften the blow until we can process our emotions.

 

2. Anger

When we have strong feelings for another person, our love and affection may morph into anger and resentment following a breakup.

 

You may blame yourself or your partner for the relationship’s end. You may lash out, pointing out the other person’s flaws, or resent loved ones for their successful relationships.

 

Bad relationships and breakups can also affect your self-esteem. Depending on the nature of your previous relationship, these intense emotions may linger and prevent you from connecting with a new partner. 

 

3. Bargaining

Restoring a past relationship can feel like the solution to newfound instability and insecurity, whether you truly want to try again or not.

 

You may promise to be a better person or suggest their current partner isn’t right for them. You may also find yourself caught up in nostalgia, sending “I miss you” texts in the middle of the night or calling up an old flame. 

 

Alternatively, you may shift your focus to work, school, or exercise, using increased or over-productivity to regain a sense of control.

 

4. Depression

During this stage, you may spend a lot of time alone, scrolling through your ex’s social media and rereading text messages.

 

While you may not necessarily cry, you might be low on energy and lack motivation for your usual interests.

 

Though it’s important to lean on friends during this stage, they are not relationship experts and all forms of grief can be hard to cope with, especially if you have a mental illness. If you feel depressed for more than two weeks, it may be time to speak to a mental health professional.

 

5. Acceptance

Loving someone and learning how to let go are fundamental life lessons.

 

If the relationship was unhealthy or unhappy, then parting ways was the right decision, and you’ll eventually go on to find someone better. Likewise, if you two were happy together, then it’s very likely you’ll be happy again with someone else.

 

Knowing this, you may still have lingering feelings for your ex.

 

This is perfectly normal. What matters is that you’ve learned how to reconcile your emotions and have begun to reconnect with friends, families, and new partners.

 

Tips on How to Move Forward

Moving on from a breakup takes time. As you navigate your emotions, stay mindful of the pull of fond memories and practice self-care to get through the hard days.

 

To help you move forward, here are a few tips to keep in mind:

 

Stay off of social media

A lot of people fall into self-destructive patterns following a breakup. If you’re comparing yourself to the couples you see online or checking up on your ex a lot, take time away from social media. Reinvest your energy into work and hobbies, and learn how to see yourself outside of a relationship.

 

Listen to music with themes of self-empowerment and independence

Researchers have found that listening to your favorite music releases dopamine, one of the “happy brain chemicals.”

 

Blast your favorite playlist on your way to work and host concerts in your shower. Rediscover some high school favorites, dance alone in your room, and lean into the self-empowering messages that you loved as a teenager.

 

Remember why you broke up

Not only is journaling a great way to process your emotions, but it can serve as a physical record of what went wrong with your relationship.

 

Alternatively, you can reach out to a close friend and get their perspective. If they were present for the duration of the relationship, they likely can lend some insight into why you two broke up.

 

Throw away or get rid of mementos and keepsakes

It’s a lot easier to cling onto memories if we still have physical reminders lying around.

 

If you feel like it might give you closure, return the gifts your ex gave you. Throw away or donate anything else you might’ve held on to that reminds you of them. Though it may be bittersweet, it’ll help you think of them less as you go about your day.

 

Write a parting letter, but don’t send it

To help you process your emotions, try writing a parting letter.

 

Write down everything you wanted to say, from the angry to the good. Let it all out and once you’re done, throw it away. You can think of this as a physical release from the relationship and the power it once held over you.

 

Delete their number and block communication

In addition to staying off social media, avoid stalking your ex’s posts.

 

To stave off temptation, block them on all your accounts and delete their number. If you’re still hurting, do not engage with them if they try to reach out or happen to ask a close friend about you.

 

Get support from friends and family

If you’re having a tough time coping with a breakup, reach out to your loved ones. 

 

Friends and family members can be a crucial source of support during this difficult period, so try to make plans and reinvest energy into non-romantic relationships.

 

Seek professional support

There is nothing wrong with asking for help.

 

By speaking with a mental health professional such as a therapist or counselor, you can get the support you need to move on from past relationships and reconcile lingering hurt or heartache.

 

Work Through Your Feelings with Emote Online Therapy

Whether they were your first love or your first serious relationship, it’s not unusual to still love your ex. After all, they were a major part of your life, and letting go is never easy.

 

Through therapy, it’s possible to healthily address unresolved feelings and recover from a broken heart.

 

At Emote, we offer a safe space for anyone struggling with their emotions.

 

By matching with one of our highly qualified therapists, you can gain the tools you need to cope with a breakup. Through therapy, you can even discover a new side to yourself and learn how to connect with a new partner

 

Arrange video chat therapy sessions every week or text your therapist throughout your day for immediate support.

 

Sign up today and begin therapy with Emote for only $35 during your first week. Check out other helpful posts or read our FAQ to learn more about the benefits of therapy. 

 

How to Talk to a Therapist: Tips and Helpful Talking Points

A man wondering how to talk to a therapist

How to Talk to a Therapist and Get the Most Out of Your Therapy

Maybe you’re interested in therapy but feel like your worries are too trivial for a therapist. Or perhaps you’ve already attended a few sessions, yet you’re struggling to express yourself.

 

Either way, you’re not alone. Therapy is a step in the right direction, but it can be nerve-wracking to open up to a stranger.

 

According to research, 40.2 million American adults sought out and received mental health services such as therapy and counseling in 2019.

 

With a growing interest in psychotherapy, new patients may be surprised to find that “talk therapy” (like cognitive behavioral therapy, aka CBT) doesn’t magically transform you into an open book.

 

It takes time and patience to establish a therapeutic relationship, and it’s normal to encounter roadblocks along the way. 

 

For patients who are shy or suffer from anxiety, in-person therapy sessions can be overwhelming and stressful, even with a good therapist. Likewise, many people believe therapy is only for “serious” or “bad” stuff and has no place for everyday life. Others simply don’t know where to start.

 

The great thing about psychotherapists is that they’re human, too. 

 

As you learn how to open up about your mental health, they can learn how to best make you feel comfortable and secure.

 

Using the strategies we’ve listed below, you can start the conversation today and get the most out of therapy with Emote.

 

 

1. Ask your therapist to explain the process and what might be expected 

It’ll take time to find a therapist you like, but once you do, use your first session to learn more about how therapy works and what to expect from your sessions.

 

Even if this is not your first time trying therapy, your therapist can offer insight into the kind of progress you’d like to make and help you establish goals. These goals don’t need to be ironclad, but they can help you lean into the process. 

 

2. Write down what’s been bugging you throughout the week and bring it with you to your session

Studies suggest writing may be a potentially beneficial therapeutic tool. By writing down your fears and anxieties, you’ll have a ready-made list of talking points to bring up in therapy.

 

You can also start a journal. You can use your journal to record your progress, review what you’ve learned in therapy, and express yourself in ways you may not yet be able to with your therapist. 

 

3. Remember that there is no “right” or “wrong”

Your therapist’s office is a safe place; nothing is off-limits, much less mundane subjects.

 

Mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and eating disorders benefit from therapy, but no one’s life revolves around mental illness (though it may feel like it). It’s okay to talk about whatever you want. 

 

Likewise, you don’t need to be in therapy for something “serious.” 

 

Therapy is a versatile tool developed to help people to cope with life’s challenges, whatever they may be.

 

4. Talk about your past

We get so caught up in what’s in front of us, we sometimes forget to look back.

 

Though it certainly sounds cliché, exploring your past can offer insight into your current struggles. You can use this opportunity to address unresolved heartache, past trauma, or merely reminisce about something—or someone—important to you. 

 

Whatever the subject is, remember your therapist can provide you with tools to cope with even the most painful parts of your past.

 

5. Bring up the important relationships in your life

During therapy, sensitive topics like your private life can be discussed without fear of judgment or embarrassment. 

 

These discussions don’t have to be limited to your love life, but you can use therapy to explore intimacy issues and marital conflict.

 

Suppose you feel that your relationships may benefit from professional help. In that case, your therapist may be able to introduce you to other types of therapy, such as couples therapy and group therapy. 

 


6. Dissect and discuss your dreams

There are several theories out there about the psychology of dreams. For some, the idea that dreams are windows into the psyche may be worth exploring. 

 

Sleep is also a critical aspect of your health. Whether you believe in the science of dreams or not, therapy can help address how your waking life affects your sleep and vice versa. 

 

7. Practice in the mirror

If you find that therapy gives you performance anxiety, rehearse what you want to say in the mirror before a session. 

 

Your therapist won’t judge you if you’re nervous or happen to stutter, but until you feel comfortable opening up, focus on the power of your words and how to best get them across. 

 

8. Discuss any physical ailments you’ve been experiencing

Your physical health can affect your mental health and vice versa. If you’re struggling to cope with a physical change, injury, or illness, bring it up with your therapist.

 

Discussing health problems can give you a sense of control and a way to healthily process negative emotions about your body. 

 

Your therapist may also be able to provide you with resources that focus on physical wellness and how to cope with pain, sickness, or loss of sensation. 

 

9. If you’re not completely comfortable with your therapist, request an icebreaker activity

The goal of therapy is to discover a healthy mindset, not crash land into it.

 

 If you’re not comfortable with your therapist yet, ask for an icebreaker.

 

This could mean going over your previous session, the past week, or how your mood is. You don’t have to start the conversation on your own. Your therapist can gradually guide you until you feel comfortable discussing what’s been weighing on your mind. 

 

10. Request online and text therapy for help whenever you need it

Online therapy has been vital in addressing mental health needs across the country. 

 

If in-person therapy sessions are not an option for you, ask your therapist for remote support. They may be able to arrange digital appointments and/or text therapy for moments of crisis.

 

You can also explore exclusive online therapy services like Emote. With online therapy, you’re free to communicate and arrange sessions at your convenience. 

 

Talk to a Therapist with Emote Online Therapy

Quality healthcare service is an important part of feeling comfortable with your therapist. Trusting not only the professional’s expertise but that you’re in a safe environment can help you overcome life’s challenges. 

 

By working with one of Emote’s online therapists, you can get the care you need from the comfort of your own home.

 

By being in a space you know, you and your remote therapist can lean into therapy together. Learn at your own pace and discover coping strategies, mental health tools, and pivotal talking points. 

 

Find what works best for you: Schedule face-to-face sessions over video chat or bring therapy wherever you go with our text services

 

With Emote, you’re not alone.


Find the right therapist today and start therapy for only $35 during your first week. Check out our FAQ or contact us to learn more about your personalized therapy experience.