Among the different parts of human life that people will experience at one point or another, nothing could be more profound and simultaneously confusing as romantic relationships.
Whether you are married, recently started dating, or have been in a relationship for quite a while now, having a romantic bond is often seen as one of life’s most unique dynamics we can ever experience. For most people, the experience of finding that “special someone” is inevitable at best, making it a life experience worth learning the ins-and-outs of.
If you’ve been in a relationship for a while now, you most likely have grown familiar with your partner and the dynamic that you two share in various ways. In particular, fighting and arguing are probably the experiences in the relationship that you still find yourself confused with sometimes and still struggle with. Although they are often a staple of any growing or healthy relationship where both sides mature, there are also situations where there are more bad times than good ones, which is “toxic.”
Now, you may be well-aware of what constitutes a “toxic relationship” and what usually happens during such a relationship. However, while you might be familiar with the idea of calling a significant other on being toxic, here’s one question key realization that you must also acknowledge: you might also be the toxic one in the relationship.
Getting a hold of the toxicity
Generally, humans are inherently selfish in any part of their lives, especially when it comes to relationships. This essentially means that, while you find it reasonable to think that your partner is at fault, you’re also at fault, yet you might be doing it out of pure instinct and the desire not to claim responsibility.
The truth about relationships—regardless of how serious they may be—is that they’re a two-way street relationship. For instance, healthy relationships only take place when both sides do their part to remain mature and work together to resolve problems, and the same goes for those in toxic relationships.
Suppose you’ve found yourself seeing your current relationship as a chore or something that’s completely unhealthy. In that case, you must re-evaluate your role in making such a problem happen in the first place. Although it can be challenging to admit that you’re at fault, it’s something that you have to do if you want to steer your relationship in the right direction.
On owning your part
Admittedly, many of us can be quite “toxic” or “selfish” as lovers in more ways than we can expect.
Fortunately, you can turn things around and own your part in contributing to your toxic relationship by acknowledging what you’re doing wrong and taking steps to prevent them from happening. Once you accept an objective approach and start watching out for these signs of your behavior contributing to a toxic relationship, there’s a chance your partner will do the same:
- You intentionally try to make your partner feel jealous by playing “mind games” so that they fulfill your unhealthy need for affirmation
- You refuse to tell your partner why you’re upset and expect them to walk on eggshells until you’re satisfied
- You avoid communicating or working together on problems that can’t be solved with a one-sided approach
- You try to use your affection as a “bargaining chip” to get whatever you want in the relationship
- You compare your significant other blatantly with your past relationships or those between people you know to make them feel “lower than you”
If the lists above served as a wake-up call and made you realize that you’ve also been playing a part in making your relationship toxic, take this as a sign to change your ways and remedy the bond. If you find it difficult to shrug off such tendencies, however, you can get in touch with an online therapist—such as any professional from Emote Life—to help you through the process!
Dealing with a toxic relationship is never an enjoyable task by any means, but the chances are that you’re also playing your part in maintaining the dynamic’s unhealthiness. With the help of this guide and a trained online therapist, you can help ensure that you’re no longer contributing to the toxicity taking place in your relationship so that you can turn the ship around!
If you’re looking to get online therapy in the United States to help iron out any of your tendencies for being the “toxic” partner in a relationship, our specialists are here to help. Visit our website today to schedule an appointment with the best online therapist for your needs!