Believe it or not, but your past will always be with you. Moments in your life may fade in and out at random times in your life, and their purposes can sometimes be challenging to understand. Some people decide to ignore these brief glimpses of memories, but sometimes you need to pay attention to what these moments are trying to teach you.
When you are in the process of understanding your current self, you often need to look to the past and understand how you became who you are. Here’s why your past and present selves need to meet:
The Connection Between the Past and the Present
Psychotherapy or talk therapy is a psychology practice that aims to understand the feelings of a person. Another goal of this practice is to equip a person so they can face any related challenges happening in their present lives. This practice is deeply rooted in the importance of meeting your past to facilitate your present. You can say it is somehow similar to counseling, but psychotherapy tends to understand the problem and a person’s nature in a more in-depth way.
How Facing the Past Can Help You in the Present
Psychologists believe that people need to understand and accept their history to see positive results in their lives. It is the process of unraveling the past to themselves and deconstructing them to understand the “them” existing today.
By looking back with an expert’s guidance, people will start to see patterns in their behavior and the triggers that make them respond to certain situations the way they do. They will better understand what parts of themselves need to be improved and what habits need to be unlearned. They will also have the chance to break down the things they did to survive past experiences in order to understand if those patterns were healthy and helpful or not at all.
Looking back is also a way for people to reconstruct a new narrative about themselves―who they are at the moment and who they want to become in the future. All of this leads to connecting the existing dots to create one whole new definition of self. This is often a crucial part of overcoming the complicated patterns of self-blame and criticism.
How Childhood Behavior Patterns Can Affect Your Adulthood
To give you a clearer insight into how childhood situations affect how adults behave now, here is one common scenario of an unmet need and how it can become a psychological issue later.
Not feeling any security
People are wired to be codependent on one another. If all your comfort and attention needs were met when you were little, you are already at an advantage because you were put in a healthy and emotionally stable environment. Those who grew up lacking these aspects often develop one or more of the following traits:
- Excessive self-reliance characterized by the ignoring or disregarding of one’s need for others
- Excessive seeking of approval that often becomes self-sabotaging
- A combination of both
Any of these traits can manifest in the relationships one holds as an adult, whether it is with romantic partners, family, or friends. When people’s everyday needs are not met in childhood, it can manifest as psychological distress that can result in difficulty coping with challenges later on in life.
If you want to understand yourself better and improve in the way you handle life, you need to sit down and face your past. Through the help of therapy, you can learn to appreciate how these little moments shaped your present behavior. Then, you can understand which areas you can improve to learn how to deal with anything life throws at you in a healthy manner.
Learning how to deal with mental health triggers can be challenging on your own; that is why experts are here to help. If you want to understand yourself better, consulting with professionals is the best way to go. Emote Life connects you to qualified professionals at a fraction of the cost of in-person therapy.