Whether we admit it or not, we all desire to receive proper treatment from other people. It is natural to feel this way sometimes. We are human beings with emotions and desires. This basic guideline of how you wish to be treated is what we call the personal boundary.
Establishing boundaries from the start is vital in any relationship—including your relationship with yourself—because it defines how you want people to behave around you. With limits, you understand what actions are okay to do and which are not OK. With boundaries, you would know how you should respond in different situations. It would also ensure that respect is present in your relationship.
Setting limits is not selfish nor embarrassing to do. It serves as your shield and the protection of the people around you. Having boundaries is a form of self-care, and it has many types—it could be physical, emotional, and psychological, among others.
Sometimes, knowing you are responsible for setting your boundaries can get overwhelming. It may be difficult, but we have some steps you can follow on how you can build one:
Step 1: Learn what kind of boundary you are setting
As mentioned earlier, there are different kinds of boundaries. You can set one for yourself and another on how you relate with others. Knowing which limits you are putting up and defining each of them would help lighten up the idea. It would help you make more explicit restrictions, and it would also be easier for you to recognize when people violate these boundaries.
Step 2: List them down
Once you are aware of all the kinds of boundaries you can set, it is time to get more specific. For example, you want to value your personal space. In this step, you can list down how you want to achieve this space. How will you get your personal space at home? Or in the office? Or at school? Imagine how it would look like and cite clear examples of your desire. This little exercise can help you embody the concept more. It can also help you become more aware of what you need to expect from people.
Step 3: Take small steps at a time
Do not expect the transition to be that fast, and do not run off when the boundary you are aiming for is disrupted quickly. You are only getting familiar with the concept, and it will take some time before you get used to it.
One thing you can do is to keep a journal and track your progress. Writing down how you feel when someone crosses the limit can help you voice out what you think of the situation. It can also help you think of the next steps to do, such as how to tell the concerned people about your feelings. Your journal can also help you identify what else you need to improve on yourself to become better at this.
Step 4: Keep going
The more you apply the new concept to your life, the more you will get used to it. The key to achieving any goal is to stay consistent with it. Like any new behavior, learning to keep the boundaries you set for yourself and with other people may take some time. It is part of the process and growth.
You need to care for yourself first before you create healthy relationships with others. Setting personal boundaries is one form of self-care you should learn to achieve. It is reminding yourself and the people around you that you and your feelings are important too. It serves as a reminder of your needs as a human being.
If you need someone to help you go through this journey, we are here for you. Emote can connect you with top-qualified professionals in the US who can help you define and learn how to deal with emotional triggers. Contact us today to learn more!